Wild about wildflowers

Today J, Scooter and I took another trip up Gold Camp Road just to find a stream and chill for a while. We ended up at Rosemont Reservoir, which is the water supply for the city of Colorado Springs. It's high in the mountains and was also a perfect spot to photograph wildflowers. Colorado's wildflowers peak in mid-July but because we've had so much moisture, they are already poking up in full force.

The pink wildflower with the stream running behind it is the Pretty Shootingstar, and the purple cluster next to the aspen tree is the Colorado State flower, the Columbine. I also experiemented with the "color swap" special effect on my new camera to get the cool sepia/color photo. Neat, huh?

Tomorrow we are going to drive to Buena Vista and take Cottonwood Pass over the Continental Divide to hunt for more wildflowers and photo opps. We will come out in Gunnison and make the loop home through Canon City. Cottonwood Pass is a magnificient route and will be an all-day road trip; but the views are worth it. It is a tradition, for some odd reason, that we play a combination of Steve Wiseman and Native American music while going over the Pass. I'm looking forward to it. It's a trip we've made a number of times, but this will be the first in at least two years.

We are anxious to take our first camping trip of the season as well. A broken tent pole has kept us home; and we need to simply replace it or fix it, but we seem to find other things to do when the time rolls around, so it has remained unfixed. The snow has mostly melted from the top peaks, so it is finally camping weather...and offroading weather! We are ready to hit the trails and get away from civilization. And photograph more wildflowers :)

Somebody pinch me.

So today I run over to the super giant store that shall not be named that starts with a "W" to get shampoo, etc., and as I walk out, I'm struck with how few people get to enjoy the view we Coloradans enjoy when doing such simple errands like going to the grocery store. As I walk out, facing West, Pikes Peak rises royally above the other mountains around her, all of which I know the names because I'm weird like that. The sky is a Crayola Cornflower Blue and clouds which I usually call "white puffies" but that I know are technically called cumulus clouds, float above the Peak. Yep, as you might imagine, it's breathtaking.

I remember when I first moved here and walked out of that same store and that view just knocked me over and I thought how amazing it was going to be to live in a town where that view is visible from nearly every point in town. And today, seven years later, that view still knocks me over and I've seen it a million times. There are people who have lived here their entire lives and they don't even look at the mountains any more. They drive to work, drive home, and never even look. I just can't imagine that.

I remember as a kid in Texas, when driving on a farm road, I would squint my eyes and imagine the clouds on the horizon were actually snow-capped mountains. It actually worked if you did it just right. And now, I have them all around me. I am grateful to be here and know I will never take them for granted. I still look to them every day.

Each passing minute they change, as the sun's ray hits them at different angles, as the clouds cast shadows across the foothills and suddenly you're able to see ridgelines that weren't visible earlier in the day. The dark pines and spruces are punctuated by the bright lime green of new leaves on the aspens. Patches of late snow are sprinkled like powdered sugar across the top of the Peak and in the right light you can even see the sun glinting off the roof of the Summit House and you know there are hundreds of people up there right now, each paying 25 cents to look through a high-powered telescope at those of us coming out of Walmart. Most of them are Texans. And most of them are shivering because they thought since it was 78 degrees in town it would also be 78 degrees on top of the Peak and wearing shorts and flip-flops sounded like a great idea. But actually it's closer to 50 and the wind is blowing about 45 mph or so. I was a tourist once too. But now I live here.

And I still can't believe it.

Don't get me started...

I've discovered a very bad thing about myself. I seldom get angry but when I do? Holy cow, it takes a long time for me to let it go. Tonight, after working all day on uploding some marketing videos to You Tube for a client, I accidentally deleted one of their videos. I got so freakishly mad at myself I was pounding my fist agsint my leg, screaming and cursing up a blue streak. I was so disgusted and mad at myself I could not believe it! My friend J was here when it happened and got to witness my hissy fit. It was not pretty. It was not even THAT big of a deal, as I can just upload it again, but I lost all my comments and hit counts and the client had already given the link out to people and I had to tell them it was now...gone. Not the end of the world, but embarassing in front of the client. Hopefully they will not think I'm an idiot.

So after this happened, my friend and I went to dinner and I let it eat at me the entire time. I was very grumpy and could not stop thinking about it. What is my problem? I used to describe myself as laid back, but the older I get, the LESS laid back I become. I am much quicker to anger than I used to be, and I don't like it one bit. In fact, my anger frankly just makes me very angry.

I've had one of those weeks where I've had a few things to be angry about. Two weeks ago I took my car to the shop explaining, "The gas mileage is crummy (14.5 mpg). So they give it a tune up and now I'm getting 8.5 mpg. Thanks a bunch. They also messed up my front passenger door lock and it won't lock...but I just realized that this weekend and have been driving around with my iPod and $3000 worth of video camera equipment in the car unlocked. I take it back to them, saying, "My gas mileage is worse and the door won't lock." And the guy who worked on my car is at another shop across town and they want me to take it to THAT shop so he can fix his work.

Now, mind you, the reason I took my car to this shop is because it is near my house and I can walk home. So I get mad about that. And I get mad because he tells me there's no earthly way a vehicle with a new tuneup can get worse gas mileage. So I tell him to check the overhead display module, the mpg is listed there. And as soon as that comment left my mouth I knew it was a mistake because then he said, "Oh, those aren't accurate. That's your problem!" Well, it's all relative, right? If I've always used that module to calculate my mph and it's now worse, his reasoning does not make sense. But, I believe since I am a woman, he will not take me seriously. So, he couldn't fix the door because he had to order a part that they bent the first time around. So now I have to take it back AGAIN when the part comes in. What happened to customer service?

I mean, really.

I'm grumpy.

Quit snickering. It's not funny.

Stupid Survey

The MySpace Survey:

Name: JeepGirl
Date of Birth: April 1964
Birthplace: Texas
Current Location: Colorado
Eye Color: Green
Hair Color: Blonde, not grey, BLONDE dammit!
Height: 5'5"
Heritage: German, Irish, English, French
Piercings: Ear holes have long since closed up
Tattoos: Not brave enough, unlike SOME people reading this post

Favourite:

Band/Singer: Death Cab for Cutie
Song: Imagine
Movie: Apollo 13
Disney Movie: I don't do Disney
TV show: Friday Night Lights
Color: Solar Yellow
Food: Fajitas
Pizza topping: Pepperoni and Pineapple
Ice-Cream Flavor: Swiss Orange Chip!
Drink (alcoholic): Pina Colada (what a lightweight)
Soda: Coke
Store: Casa Bonita
Clothing Brand: whatever fits
Shoe Brand: Merrell
Season: Autumn!!
Month: September
Holiday/Festival: Christmas
Flower: Tulip, yellow
Make-Up Item: Puh-leeze
Board game: Trivial Pursuit

This or That

Sunny or rainy: Sun sun sun
Chocolate or vanilla: Chocolate
Fruit or veggie: Fruit
Night or day: Day
Sour or sweet: Sweet
Love or money: Money babee!
Phone or in person: Email
Looks or personality: Personality
Coffee or tea: tea
Hot or cold: cold!!!!

Your:

Goal for this year: Too many to mention
Most missed memory: Madge
Best physical feature: Eyes
First thought waking up: Where's Scooter?
Hypothetical personality disorder: Contradictaryitis (I'm stuffed. You gonna eat that??)
Preferred type of plastic surgery: a Debit card surgically implanted in my wrist
Most stupid remark: That my Jeep center caps were replaced crooked (the tire was just rolled around so they were not facing horizontal).
Worst crime: Shoplifting lipstick when I was in 5th grade
Greatest ambition: Novelist
Greatest fear: June Bugs (you think I'm kidding??)
Darkest secret: Ooh, can't say it here
Favorite subject: History
Strangest received gift: A candle of a fat man sunbathing
Worst habit: Nail biting

Do You:

Smoke: nope
Drink: yes
Curse: #@$#^ yeah!
Shower daily: No but I bathe nightly
Like thunderstorms: not since Scooter doesn't
Dance in the rain: I don't dance unless a June Bug has flown into my hair
Sing: yes
Play an instrument: yes
Wish on stars: once in a while
Believe in fate: no
Believe in love at first sight: YES!

Can You:

Drive: car yes, cattle no
Sew: no
Cook: yes but hate to
Speak another language: count to ten in German
Dance: aren't you listening?
Sing: yes
Touch your nose with your tongue: no
Whistle: yes
Curl your tongue: yes

Have You Ever:

Been Drunk: yes
Been Stoned/High: no
Eaten Sushi: yes. bleck.
Been in Love: yes
Skipped school: ooh, with Jen on Field Day. We were cool.
Made prank calls: yes
Sent someone a love letter: yes
Stolen something: yes, lipstick, you aren't paying attention
Cried yourself to sleep: yes

Other Questions:

What annoys you most in a person? wishy washiness
Are you right or left handed? right but I do alot of things left handed
What is your bedtime? midnight usually
Name three things you can't live without: music, books, friends
What is the color of your room? boring white cos I'm never there
Do you have any siblings? yes
Do you have any pets? SCOOTER
Would you kill someone you hate for a million dollars? no
What is you middle name? Lee
What are you nicknames? Mare, Marn, FW, Babo
Are you for or against gay marriage? for
What are your thoughts on abortion? pro
Do you have a crush on anyone? yes constantly have someone I'm crushing on
Are you afraid of the dark? no
How do you want to die? asleep in my sleeping bag on a mountain
What is the largest amount of popsicles that you have eaten on one day? what the hell?
Would you take a bullet for the one you love? yes
What is the last law you’ve broken? speeding probably, today

In a Member of the Opposite Sex:

Hair color: blonde
Eye color: green/blue
Height 6' or over
Weight 180-220 lbs
Most important physical feature: hands
Biggest turn-off: stubby fingers

Got a little story for ya, Ags!

My beautiful, independent, funny and extremely intelligent niece went to Freshmen Orientation this week at Texas A&M, where she will begin in the fall (Class of 2011. That's going to be hard to rhyme with). According to my sister, who graduated in 1980, 6 years ahead of me, things have VASTLY changed at Texas A&M.

Class Registration: You sit behind a computer until the appointed hour of registration and exactly at registration time you are able to log into the system, select all your classes and attempt to get into each class. My niece, B, typed in her password wrong over and over and was frantic. That sounds like a nightmare, actually, where you're freaking out and can't get something done while everyone else is having no problem. So she finally gets in and gets all her classes. It also sounds a bit like attempting to order concert tickets with Ticketmaster online. When Death Cab for Cutie went on sale I was poised over the keyboard like a coiled snake, ready to bite. At the appointed hour I was clicking and typing and cutting and pasting my credit card number (which I had deftly saved in a Word document so I wouldn't misstype it) and I got great tickets. B was able to have the same success.

Food Choices: When I attended Texas A&M you grabbed something at the MSC if you were around for lunch. Now, you can eat at Duncan, Sbisa, and several other places on campus. There's over 40 places to dine on campus! AND there's all kinds of cool choices, where you can choose from many international cuisines, and choose vegetarian or organic. Sure beats a corn dog at the MSV bowling alley in between bowling and history. Apparently, Texas A&M is being considered a role model to other universities in the food choices department.

Activities: So I understand they are really pushing students to join groups and get active. I think this is wonderful. I was in the Marketing Society, and let me tell you, that was one wild bunch of business majors! But now they have everything from environmentally conscious organizations to third world country organizations to archeology enthusiasts. They also are pushing studying abroad, which I think is very cool too.

Technology: Parents can sign up to receive text messages in case of emergencies. For instance, like in the case of the Virginia Tech shootings, parents are notified immediately when there's an emergency on campus, or when your child is admitted to a hospital, etc.

Move Along! In an effort to urge students not to spend their entire life at college, they offer $1000 back to anyone who graduates within a certain amount of hours required for their major. If your major requires 132 hours for a degree and you graduate within a certain amount of hours from that, you receive money back.

Sounds like Texas A&M is seriously working toward that "world class" reputation they always talk about. Me? I personally feel a bit cheated. No cool meal cards, no free range chicken choices, no computer registration. I had to walk across campus to receive a print out from the computer I was working on, for pete's sake. And we had to stand in line to register for a class. If, by the time you got to the front of the line and the class was full, you went and stood in another line. In G. Rollie White Coliseum. In 94 degree heat. With thousands of other sweaty college students.

I think I want to be a student again. I'd choose a different major though. No marketing blowodd major for me. Environmental Studies or something like that, would be my new major. Or, possibly bowling.

Complete silliness

There are some days you just laugh until you nearly pee your pants. That happened last week when my friend Mike and I took these photos with his new MacBook using Photobooth. You can distort the video in a number of side-splitting ways and we were supposed to be working, but instead we spent nearly an hour taking ridiculous photos of ourselves.

Spielberg, Koontz..there are no famous web designers

...so that should tell me something. But why is it that no matter what I'm doing in the present, I'm constantly thinking, "This is not what I want to REALLY be doing?" Why can't I ever seem to be content with the way things are? I don't even LIKE change all that much, but I can't seem to find that one thing in my life that gives me meaning. My career is going better than it has in, well, forever, but when pressed about it I would say, "Yeah...I'm thinking of maybe changing fields." Am I nuts? Why can't I just accept something, work really hard to be great at it and stop thinking of new avenues?

I think part of my problem is I have so many freakin' interests. It's not like I'm a science person, or an art person...I'm not any ONE thing. I'm everything. You'd think that might be cool, charming, even. Oh THAT one's into everything, there's nothing she hasn't tried. But you know what, it's not charming at all. It's really annoying. I play around with some wood and wood glue, and suddenly my new hobby is woodworking. I buy some software that allows me to edit videos, suddenly I'm a film maker. I read about global warming and I want to make a difference and start a carbon credit company. Which I did. Web site's up TODAY! I'm into photography, web design, offroading. Will you PLEASE pick one passion and just stick with it? Just that one? You have so many interests and hobbies you can't seem to find time to do any of them well.

I start projects and never finish them. I have approximately 4,524 video projects unfinished. I have approximately 11,256 short stories/film scripts/novels that have absolutely no plot, but have great beginnings and very cute, witty characters. I have toys from my mother's home that I planned to sell on eBay. I have half a newly seeded yard. I have scrapbooks upon scrapbooks with loose crap in them. I have photos that are barely identifiable because it's been so long since I took the picture I can't remember the person's name that's IN the picture.

I know people without a single hobby. They go to work, come home, watch TV and go to bed. Me? Hobbies are getting in the way of my career. I will make a fantastic retired person. I could retire right now and never, EVER get bored. But see, to retire, you actually need a job to retire from...and that's what I keep changing too. What's it going to be today? Video editing? Web design? I know, I'm going to sell my photography and make a living. Right.

Someone needs to HOLY COW, I just noticed Blogger saves my drafts automatically now so I don't accidentally hit the wrong button and lose my post. Now that's cool. Anyway...

Catching Up

So, you know it's been a long time between posts when you can't log into your Blog because you've forgotten both your username AND password. Sorry to all 2 of you who have been inquiring where I've been, but I never feel like I have anything interesting to write about, altough I know that's probably not true, as stupid stories and strange events seem to follow me where ever I go. I'm just lazy I guess.

So, lots going on lately. I just returned from an amazing weekend at a dude ranch. I had such a great time and it reminded me SO much of Waunita Hot Springs Ranch, where Wes and Joetta took us in June of 1980. It took me 27 years to return to a Dude Ranch but it was worth the wait. We stayed in the most amazing log cabin with the most amazing view and had the most amazing cowboys and wranglers to joke about with (and stare at). To spend a weekend in a luxurious log cabin with a mountain view and then have to come home to a dumpy duplex with a view of the Polka Hall across the street was a rude slap back into reality.

So my mom is hanging in there. She is very confused and her dementia is definitely getting worse. My sister and I have decided we need to write a book entitled "Hospice Humor." We believe it would be a best seller. It's very weird, how, in the face of death, you can still find something to laugh about. I guess you have to. Mom is very confused about the time of day. She is very annoyed at the kitchen for bringing her broccoli and a chicken breast at BREAKFAST. Then she is even more annoyed when the other old ladies, who still have some of their faculties, inform her that it is dinner, not breakfast, thus the brocolli and chicken breast. So mom then retorts, "Well thanks for TELLING me," in a voice that I believe she means to sound sarcastic, but only sounds sincerely grateful, which in turn makes the old ladies want to continue to tell her what meal it is. Mom tells me this on the phone. "These old women here think they need to tell me what meal it is. They must think I'm stupid." But yet she orders coffee and toast at dinner. You gotta laugh to keep from crying.

Last week she called my sister on the phone. This was a surprise to everyone since she has forgotten how to answer the phone and instead, we believe, is answering the television remote control. This makes getting a hold of her very difficult, as you might imagine. So, she calls my sister and says, "I've decided I've had enough. I don't want to do this any more."

My sister is silent, thinking that Mom has had a moment of lucidity and understands her situation and is giving us "instruction" on what she wants. "You don't want to do what, any more, Mom?" my sister asks.

"I don't want to fold these towels any more," my mom answers. "Or put up my clothes. I just don't want to do it any more." Then she adds, "Well I guess I've really cheered up your day." Like this is the worse news my sister could have received.

My sister said that mom reiterated that same theme twice more this weekend when she stated, "I think I'm going to turn in my resignation" and "I guess it's time to call it quits." It's as if she understands what is happening to her but can't quite articulate it, so the only thing her brain can come up with are cliches that describe what she's feeling. That's our interpretation anyway. If that is true, then the human spirit and mind is more complicated and mysterious and amazing then we can ever comprehend. It is my sincerest wish to be there with her in the end, holding her hand, like I did with Madge. It was a blessing yet a curse, because I can never get that moment out of my mind.

At the ranch this weekend there was an 89-year old woman that rode a horse for the first time since she was 6 years old. That means the last time she had ridden was in 1926. Pretty amazing.