On Writing Well

I have always considered myself a writer. But there are times when I come across a great piece of prose and I realize, sadly, that I am no writer, I am only a person who writes. For instance, I read this passage below several times and it was so beautiful I got a lump in my throat, not just because of the content of the paragraph, but because of the way it was written. I marvel at people who see the world like this and who can express it, so beautifully, to the rest of us.

From "Pilgrim at Tinker Creek by Annie Dillard:

"One day I was walking along Tinker Creek thinking of nothing at all and I saw the tree with the lights in it. I saw the backyard cedar where the mourning doves roost charged and transfigured, each cell buzzing with flame. I stood on the grass with the lights in it, grass that was wholly fire, utterly focused and utterly dreamed. It was less like seeing than like being for the first time seen, knocked breathless by a powerful glance...I had been my whole life a bell, and never knew it until at that moment I was lifted and struck."

I mean...wow. Isn't that something? So beautifully expressed.

Spurts of Happiness

Today something quaint happened to me while driving across town for a meeting. I experienced several unexplained spurts of happiness for no reason. Admittedly, the radio was playing some great music (Shadows of the Night by Pat Benetar was one of them) and it was a gorgeous day. Lots of snow on the Peak, big blue sky. Maybe it was a combination of the music and the weather, but I felt happy. And I don't mean happy, like in a good mood, I mean deep-in-your bones happy. I've had this sadness surrounding me for nearly a year that I can't attribute to any one thing and it's nothing to get excited about, just this blue feeling I haven't been able to escape. And today those intensely, happy white moments were in sharp contrast to the blue streak I've been living in. For a few seconds each time, I just felt not only content, but blissful, hopeful. And then they disappeared and I was just driving down the road again. But a few minutes later it came back again and then dissipated once again. Not sure what to do with it, but it sure felt nice for those few seconds. They were certainly monumental enough that I realized they were happening. Now if I could harness those seconds and stretch them out to months, I'd be onto something.

I've been reading this book called "New Earth." I can't decide if it's New Age mumbo-jumbo or really worthy of discussion. But I can only wonder if those few moments I felt today were spurts of living in the moment, of forgetting your ego, your worry about bills, about having only a job and no career, of not knowing your purpose in life, of feeling very middle-aged with few accomplishments, blah blah blah. Perhaps for those white moments I was able to discard the ego and just Be. I can only guess what that must feel like, that letting go feeling. I think it must feel very white. I can't begin to understand what one must do to harness those moments and live in the moment all the time, to discard the ego, to Be. Perhaps it only takes practice. Perhaps the pursuit of those white moments IS what life is all about. Not so much about achieving them, but pursuing them.

Deep, I know. It's late and my mind is sleepy.

Puppy Update

Here's the latest photo. I can hear you all saying "Awwwwww" now. He's a cutie, isn't he? Those eyes! I can't wait to see more photos! Sadly, his littlest sister, the runt, who they nursed by hand for two weeks to become more healthy, died last night when her mom accidentally rolled over on her and smothered her. How sad is that? She was literally a third of the size of her siblings. She was a pup that was coming to Colorado Springs, too, and I was hoping her mom and I could get the pups together since they were siblings. But anyway, very sad about little Cora. I am very pleased with George's looks, though.

Today was such a crazy day, work-wise. Trying to launch two web sites this week and one of them has had its share of obstacles. It's really sad when it's only Tuesday and you're thinking.."come on, weekend!"

Life has been slow lately. Nothing happening, really, just working and getting my house put together. I replaced all the light switches and plug and their plates this week...the plugs were so over used that everything fell out when you plugged it in. I can't tell you how many times my blow dryer stopped in the middle of my morning routine because it literally fell out of the wall. Now I have crisp white plugs and switches and they look awesome. It's the little things in life, folks.

Anyway, just wanted to share my new puppy photo. I love puppies :)

It's Official! Puppy on Board!

I made my decision tonight to buy "George" (real name to be determined) from an Australian Shepherd breeder in New Mexico. I do realize he presently looks like an oddly colored tiny pig (look at the ears...hilarious) but he will soon grow to look like a pup. Please refer to the following page to see a pup that looked almost identical to him at the same age this photo was taken: http://www.gunnstock.com/puppy5.html. And that pup is really adorable, so I believe George will look similar. The breeder says so too.

Wow. I can't believe I'm doing this. But it will be fun.