I'm angry.
Some days you kick the stuffing out of life and some days you become the stuffing. Today I feel like the stuffing has been kicked out of me. My 92-year old aunt, who lost both her brothers, sister-in-law and close childhood friend in the past 10 months, watched her best friend die Friday night at a restaurant in Alvin, Texas.
This man was only 70 years old, had befriended her and taken care of her like she was his own mother. He picked up her mail at the Post Office, he grocery shopped for her, restored her car, replaced her lightbulbs when needed, took her for drives on pretty days. He made her laugh. She mentioned to him last year that there were only three states in which she had not visited in her 92 years. This past summer he took her to two of those states so she could cross them off her list. Now all she lacks is Alaska.
On Friday night he took her to dinner and collapsed in the restaurant of a massive heart attack right before her eyes. She watched as a diner tried to administer CPR but failed. How can life be so cruel? I feel bad for him, for his family, but I feel so sad for my aunt, who has lost so much in the past year and now has even lost her best friend and the one person she knew she could depend on. Who will take her to the hair dresser? Who will call her or stop by everyday just to bring her a donut? Who will drive her to the Hill Country to see the bluebonnets in the spring? He did all these things so selflessly for her. He sincerely adored her. And now she must feel very alone. I feel so bad for her I cannot even bring myself to pick up the phone to call her. I can't think of anything meaningful to say.
Will she now, at age 92, finally have to give up her independence and resort to assisted living? How will she make it without him helping her? She can't drive any more. She depended on his kindness and genuinely enjoyed his company. I can't believe the Universe would be so horribly, crushingly cruel as to take her last friend after taking her siblings and everyone else. Life can be so hard sometimes. I can't even imagine living to be 92 and having to watch everyone I love die before me.
I have a knot in my stomach that won't go away.
This man was only 70 years old, had befriended her and taken care of her like she was his own mother. He picked up her mail at the Post Office, he grocery shopped for her, restored her car, replaced her lightbulbs when needed, took her for drives on pretty days. He made her laugh. She mentioned to him last year that there were only three states in which she had not visited in her 92 years. This past summer he took her to two of those states so she could cross them off her list. Now all she lacks is Alaska.
On Friday night he took her to dinner and collapsed in the restaurant of a massive heart attack right before her eyes. She watched as a diner tried to administer CPR but failed. How can life be so cruel? I feel bad for him, for his family, but I feel so sad for my aunt, who has lost so much in the past year and now has even lost her best friend and the one person she knew she could depend on. Who will take her to the hair dresser? Who will call her or stop by everyday just to bring her a donut? Who will drive her to the Hill Country to see the bluebonnets in the spring? He did all these things so selflessly for her. He sincerely adored her. And now she must feel very alone. I feel so bad for her I cannot even bring myself to pick up the phone to call her. I can't think of anything meaningful to say.
Will she now, at age 92, finally have to give up her independence and resort to assisted living? How will she make it without him helping her? She can't drive any more. She depended on his kindness and genuinely enjoyed his company. I can't believe the Universe would be so horribly, crushingly cruel as to take her last friend after taking her siblings and everyone else. Life can be so hard sometimes. I can't even imagine living to be 92 and having to watch everyone I love die before me.
I have a knot in my stomach that won't go away.
posted by JeepGirl | 11:16 PM
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